Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

I like this article from CBS on Games and Storytelling. Any article about games becoming art is usually interesting because games are at the same time very similar to other story forms and also very unique.

I'm currently conflicted between moving back to Ohio at the end of April (when my lease here is up) or staying in Chicago. It's not like I've really found anything or one that I enjoy here. If anything I'm getting used to how it has been so far. I have no job responses but my current roommate might be able to hook me up to a teahouse. A teahouse? Yes. If I stay where I am living, rent goes up. If I find a new place, I have to move. If I go home, I move but don't spend money. And currently my roommate is interviewing people to move in here.

So, going home to Ohio Pros: Free, no monetary commitments, nicer living conditions, closer to friends, family, girlfriend.
Cons: Back where I started, living with people I already get frustrated with, still no job (but easy to get one).

Staying in Chicago Pros: Still on my own, in a city of "opportunity," summer is coming
Cons: Spending money without a job, slim job prospects, still far away from friends, family, girlfriend.

I'm undecided. The stubborn side of me (I have a stubborn side?) wants to stay here to be "independent" (at least geographically) and all that crap. To "make it." The other side of me says "Lessons learned, matured, it's time to go home and get redirected to the right place, which isn't here."

If I think with my mind, I should probably stay here. If I think with my heart, I should go home and enjoy it.
But joy isn't the reason for living. Ok, ok, now I'm rambling. Most of you have moved to strange places without security. Would you do it all over again? In fact, should I just move to where you are and live off of you? Just kidding, I don't think anyone reading this makes enough to support another person. At least not yet. Anyone want to go in on 1000 MegaMillions tickets?

I'm just asking.
And if you have any advice or opinions that you'd rather not share publically (the secrets of becoming rich, for example) you can always email me at monsterbear [at] gmail [dot] com. Wink, wink.

Facial Reconstruction

I may have been wrong about the Perry Bible Fellowship. Exibits A, B, and C.
It's just that there seem to be an overabundance of jokes about people having sex or staring at boobs. And those get tired pretty fast. However, jokes about people being crushed inside a transformer? Well, I mean, how often do we get to laugh about a situation like that?

Today I was thinking. If the parts of the face had personalities, the ears would be the old married couple who constantly bicker. The eyes would be creepy twins who say the same thing. The mouth would be a smartass. And the nose would be Eeyore. Think about it. It makes sense.

Monsterbeard Comic Con

After a wonderful trip home which featured a birthday, an anniversary, and green beer, I returned to Chicago armed with a refreshing sense of "this will work out." And I have to say it is working out for some people already. Congrats to both Katie and Jess for the great jobs they have secured. It's nice when things fall perfectly into place.

Upon returning I discovered a package for me that contained, specifically, a graphic novel called Daisy Kutter: The Last Train, by Kazu Kibuishi, a really talented artist whose work I really like. Daisy Kutter takes place in a scifi old west where robots are as commonplace as horses. The main character is a retired (for the time being) legend who is drawn into one last job (that very train). It has a great atmosphere and I highly recommend checking it out at your local comic shop. I'm really getting into a lot of different webcomics that I'm really impressed with. I'll post a bunch of ones I like soon. But one I'll link to right now. I saw this in the Chicago Reader today and I thought it was hilarious, but I wouldn't recommend the comic (Perry Bible Fellowship) because it might be mostly bad.

While I was at Kazu's site, I discovered two things. First of all, Marvel and DC Comics have made an attempt to trademark the word "Superhero." From my perspective it's a completely ridiculous notion and I sincerely doubt it can stand up to the law, mainly because it's just a word, just like any other word, which cannot be trademarked, but also because even if Marvel and DC (together, coming up with the word 70 years ago) did create it, it's become a part of culture, like band-aid or robotic. I can't back all this up, but I've studied some entertainment law in my day (hem hem), so I'm right and Marvel and DC are dumb. Remember when Fox News tried to sue Al Franken? Same diff.

Anyway, the other (and much cooler) thing I saw at BoltCity.com was a link to a site called Flipbook, an amazing Flash site that lets you create your own flipbook animations. They're fun to watch, but more fun to play around with. Check it out. If I actually make one that I like, I'll post a link to it.

In Limbo

For some reason, a curious state of limbo has surreptitiously swept its way across everyone I know. Whether it be school, or jobs, or any other sort of major life-change, we are caught in an uncertainty which leaves us all, from my own experience, extremely frustrated. I know I’m preaching to the choir, because the people who read this blog are the people I’m relating to. Why have we suddenly been put in this situation? Why isn’t anyone getting what they want? Is it because we’re trying to get what we want?

Wait, stop, go back. Is this what God wants? For us to want what he wants but we don’t. And I do what I don’t want to do, Paul. Maybe I’m (and I can only speak for myself) receiving a lesson that means “maybe you aren’t as righteous as you think you are,” which is probably always true in some ways. But Jesus told me that I was righteous despite my flaws, so how could I be paying for them now in the way of not getting what I want? Can God punish me for my disobedience when my debt is no longer my own (thank God)? It sounds preposterous, but then I look at Isaiah 58 and I can’t help but see myself in some of the accusations. However, that could just be my guilt complex.

Or is this a test? Are we being taught patience and faithfulness? My hope is that in a week I can look back at this moment and laugh, because everyone will have gotten what they wanted, and feel satisfied with the direction their life will now take. The best comfort is the easiest to hear and the hardest to accept: God has a plan, and it is better than any plans we could make, because he has our best interests at heart. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” -Romans 8:28.

But for now we wait with the hope we can manage, because Sarah had a son at the age of ninety, and everyone laughed till the day he was born.

Flat Iron Babies

I wasn't going to do this because I have laundry to fold, but now I'm here and I can't stop myself. Slef. I read an interesting article the other day about the concentration of wealth in the US. From the article:

"The richest 1 percent of Americans now get about 15 percent of total US income, close to the 18 percent the same small group had in 1913. In a way, the days of the robber barons, the tycoons, and the Gilded Age are back - after the Great Depression, World Wars I and II, and progressive taxation had trimmed their share to 8 percent in 1963."

If that sounds bad, it got up to 20% in 1928, so I guess we're still ok. Anyway, if you want to check it out, you can.

Talya and I had a conversation a while ago about Modernism and Postmodernism, and what they both were. She briefly explained it to me and then I quickly forgot. Trying to figure the two out is a lot like trying to drink water from the opposite side of the glass (hiccuppers, you know what I'm talking about). Generally, Modernism seems to be a rejection of something and an embrace of something else. On the other hand, Postmodernism tends to embrace something while rejecting something else. Either way you slice it, I don't get it.

But Wikipedia is always there to give you more information that you could have ever wanted. And that's a good thing, because it only reaffirmed my love of Art Deco, and specifically Art Deco architecture. It might stem from watching Batman: The Animated Series, or from... well, that's the only place I remember it in my past. Sleek, industrial, beautiful. Examples would be the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, the Flat Iron building, and for those of you in Athens, the outside of the Athena. I know what I'm naming my baby.

The Pumping of My Heart

If I could delve into spiritual matters (it is Ash Wednesday, after all), I am currently experiencing spiritual growth in the form of "Dear God, why is my life in this state right now?" Although my private version contains a lot more use of the f-word and a lot of frustration you can't see here. Basically, I can't see a clear purpose for being in Chicago, and every one of my attempts to make something happen here end up in failure.

And I'm not saying it's His fault. And I don't know how it could be my fault, mainly because the woman who didn't hire me didn't call me back like she said she would when I asked her if she had any advice for me. Do you see my frustration? But, is it just circumstance? Coinciding failures that go from being heartbreaking to comical to irritating? I have trouble believing that.

So, we are having a fight, He and I, and the end result on my side is a blank stare. Okaaaaayyyy, You can do something now! So I was looking on Craigslist tonight, and I was wondering: is he pushing me here or here.

I know, I know. I have already heard your answer a thousand times in my own head. The thrilling thought of helping someone to achieve is only equaled by the terrifying thought of learning about a different plane of economic existence.

But what about me? We've had fights like this before, about the direction that my life could take, and the direction that I wanted to take (not necessarily zombie movies), and the direction I was supposed to take. I thought we had settled that, but maybe some things were left unfinished. I just feel like the teaching route is an end to other opportunities. Are people allowed to get Graduate degrees and then not use them? Because I thought that was just for Bachelors.

When you listen to Coldplay's "The Scientist" do you think of The Fall or something less dramatic?